Superhero crimefighter Spiderman has been unpadonably slack of late, breaking the first rule of superhero crimefighting - never reveal your secret identity!
I spotted Spiderman a couple of weeks ago, walking down the street in plain view, wearing the famous blue and red suit, but he'd TAKEN HIS MASK OFF. He was also wearing a pair of very ordinary looking trainers.
More amazing still, Spiderman seems to be, under his mask, a TEN-YEAR OLD BOY! He appeared to be walking along with what seemed to be his mother, and a younger sibling in a pushchair, and was heading for a very ordinary looking Islington house, which had pink and blue balloons hanging on the door, at about 12 noon on a Sunday afternoon.
What the evil supervillains of this city are supposed to make of all this I don't know. One can imagine it's only a matter of time before the likes of The Goblin and Dr. Octopus find out that Spiderman is just a ten-year old, and a slack, security-poor one at that. Look out London!